bitter sweet symphony
by melody.ace1
Summary: Everything's different now that you gone or are you. Im not going crazy , im not going crazy as I hear sirens. Did Cam commit suicide or was it me?
1. bitter sweet symphony 3

I'm using my experience bout suicide to write this story. I was suicidal at a time so please don't judge if it's not that good.

I remember it clearly.. The day you slipped away.. That was the day, I found it won't be the same.. they say if you love something ,let it go if it comes back to you,its yours forever. if it doesn't,then it was never meant to be.

its been three weeks since Campbell Saunders committed suicide .i don't remember when the last time i felt like this to lose someone close to you. Campbell Saunders is dead the last words i can remember from my principle Simpson .

everything feels so new , how could cam do this to me break up with me and kill himself . i know teen relationships never last but i never knew it would end like this . me Maya Maltin the ex girl friend of Campbell Saunders.

im sick of people pitting me OK, i didn't ask for this . he should have told me , i would have helped him but no cam made his decision and im making mine. i will not cry for cam , he dosnt deserve pity

"suicide is stupid" , "cam was stupid"

its like everyone's taking turns watching me to make sure i don't make the same mistake. my parents, Katie, tori and Tristan . i accepted cam is dead so should everyone else .

its my first week back to degressi since the incident, i was sitting down in french II when my sister Katie walked in.

"May I borrow my sister Maya for a second"

"Katie why would you take me out of class" . Katie sighs and looks to the ground when she open her mouth "Maya you need help ". i looked at her stunned by what she just said.

"Katie i have no clue what your talking bout im going back to class now" . Katie looks at me and grabs my arm "wait i didn't come all this way to tell that' i set you an appointment with the guidance consular after school".

"Katie why would you do that im perfectly fine couldn't be more happy ". she looks at me with a concerned face "Maya your not the same since cam died" ." i know you miss cam your not netting yourself feel it ", "Ur keeping your feeling bundled up inside". " i don't want that for my lil sis" .

"cant believe you Katie" i stormed away from my sister and made my way back to my seat . as i turn back i find zig looking at me but he quickly looks away not meeting my eyes

"whats his deal"

the rest of the day wen by fast . i sat with Tori and Tristan for lunch , they started talking bout the up coming dance that i already decided im not going to. I decided to skip the rest of the day, i skipped my appointment and went straight home .

As i walked into my house there was a note left on my door "Maya , Katie we will be back in a few hours" . 'great house to myself" i went up stairs and threw myself on my bed as i drifted off to sleep .

"Maya ... Maya can you hear me"?

I open my eyes and at the foot of my bed there he is "cam" how are you here what are you doing hear i close my eyes "not real, not real . but when i opened my eyes he was still there closer to me

Maya i thought you loved me ,but it seems like you don't care . how could you do this to me im died and you dont care . good to know Maya

'cam im sorry but how are you here"?" why did you kill yourself"?" i do love you" . am i losing my mind .

if im going crazy its a good crazy Katie was right i do miss him "oh cam " i throw myself on top of him and kiss him his lips were old an hard against mine . but before i knew it it was over

"maya i have to go"

"no please don't cam" but its to late hes gone as i scream his name "CAM"

"omigod Maya are you okay wake up" . my eyes flew open as i notice i was dreaming


	2. life without you

Sorry I haven't posted a new chapter in awhile having a rough time things are complicated. Also after reading some reviews thank you notice some stuff I have to work on. So thank u writingismypassion123, zoubisoubisou and Rinny106 thanks you guys.

I quickly looked at Katie and broke down in tears. I know I promised myself I wouldn't cry but I can't take it anymore. Everything feels so wrong, my dream felt so real.

Katie quietly took a seat next to me," Maya I'm here for you if you want ….I wont go to Stanford I'll stay here anything for my lil sis " your not alone and I know you miss cam Maya I do to everyone does but u cant keep your feelings bundled up inside you have to tell someone".

'Katie" I began," thanks but I don't want you to give up on your dreams because of me. I frowned a bit at the idea of her giving up on Stanford for me. I continued Katie I just need some time I guess.

She nodded, and took one more look at me "I, ll give you time to yourself for awhile ", biting her lip ….. "I'll be down stairs if anything ". And she left the room without another word.

I threw my head back on my bed and close my eyes hoping to see cam again, what did he mean it's not what you think. As hundreds of thoughts flow threw my mind, I shut my eyes tighter as a single tear drips down my face. I find myself drifting off to sleep. I wake up the next day I noticed my face my stained with tears.

I cried myself to sleep that night I didn't have another dream bout cam.

Just then I turn my head and look at my clock its 8 in the morning, I run down stairs wearing the same clothes as yesterday "Katie you here "Katie".

Calm down Maya I'm right here how u feeling, I sighed "why didn't you wake me up I'm going to be late "

Katie bites her lip "Maya it's Saturday "

Whoa …. Wait what but I thought ….. . I close my eyes trying to remember yesterday but all I really remember is seeing cams face, man do I miss him.


	3. dont go

I decided to call Tori and Tristan to see if they could keep me company but they both had plans that night "Guess its only me and you hoot", I stare at my owl and wrap him in my arms.

"Maya" ….." Maya can you hear me please speak to me I miss you"

"Did I just hear what I think I did, cam where are you I miss you to". Just then as I look at the foot of my bed he's there. I stare in amazement and scared to do or say anything don't want him to disappear. "Wow I must be going crazy but its worth it oh cam I miss you so much". As tears slid down my face.

"Oh Maya I'm so sorry look what I've done to you". His hand slowly slides gracefully around my check wiping my tears away.

I can't help but be stuck in the moment as my thoughts turn into mush all the questions I wanted to ask and when I get the chance I cant real smooth. Just then hundreds of questions fly out my mouth… cam how are u here? Why did you break up with me? Why did u kill yourself? …

Just then cam grabs my hand and places his lips on mine. He kisses me like never before his lips were so hard against mine. As much as I want this to continue I had so many questions and I needed a break. I pull back … "cam can you answer my questions?"

"Maya its complicated u deserve better I'm no good for you".

Just then it was me stopping him from continuing I place my lips on his and kiss him slowly yet passionately. I push him against my bed and climb onto of him. He pulls away and sighs he grabs my hand that's way making its way to his shirt.

"Maya we can't I don't have a lot of answers for you right now, truth I don't remember anything but you". "The last thing I remember was being in the green house crying. I have to go now I love you Maya Maltin".

"Nooo please don't go,"I go to reach to him and he's gone."Cam" no no, as I grab my hair in frustration I scream. I can't take this anymore; I'm falling apart is this how cam felt before he committed suicide.

As the door slams open," Maya are you ok I heard you scream". She runs up to me and wraps her arms around me. What's wrong Maya?

Katie get off me, nothings wrong I think.

Im in the writing mood next chapter going to be today after I eat dinner lol . Also if anyone has any ideas for my next chapter hit me up gladly put them into the story and give you a shout out.


	4. A rude Awakening

"I just want to be alone is that so much to ask?" Katie takes a step back and looks at me I can tell by her face I hurt her. But before I could say I'm sorry I was walking out the door.

"What did cam mean he wasn't good for me he was perfect for me". I found myself walking threw the park me and cam used to come here after school so many memories.

I sat down on the park bench and pulled out my phone to the last message from cam

"Sorry I won't be coming its over "

I blinked away the tears from my eyes and played the video of the night before he dumped me "Good morning Maya Maltin". I paused at the sound of his voice. I couldn't watch anymore I broke down in tears.

I layed my head against the cold park bench and drifted off to sleep " Maya you awake " I instantly open my eyes and look up and he's standing right there looking down at me like I'm crazy . "Maya what are you doing here "

'I'm not sure I'm just so glad to see you again I still have so many questions".

"About what Maya "raising one eyebrow.

"Cam how can you be here if you're dead"

Cams looks at me started "Maya what are you talking about "

"I'm talking bout you committing suicide why would you do that to me". Just then cam looks around and calls out Katie's name "Katie I found Maya she's over here". He picks me up and lifts me off the park bench I'm confused cam.

"Shhhh Maya everything will be okay, but what's this bout me committing suicide Maya". "Maya I have no clue what your talking bout I'm not the one who tried to commit suicide you were". We have to get you to a doctor think you might have hit your head. I looked at him hurt and confused.

As Katie runs up to me and cam "oh mi gods Maya are you okay "I looked at both of them what's going on".

"Guys what are you talking about you should be worried bout cam, he committed suicide didn't he". Nothing makes sense but before I could say anything I hear what sounds like sirens and at that moment my eye started feeling heavy and I drifted off to sleep.

Everything is dark in my dream pitch black as I see an image it looks like me, but what am I doing? as I come closer I get farther I finally see what's happening and I run up to myself just for her to disappeared with blood on her hands and cuts going across her wrist .

She looks at me, "look what you've done Maya Maltin, your crazy and cam knows that now ".

What are you talking bout I didn't do that I couldn't have I don't remember anything .maybe this refresh your memories.

All of I sudden I find myself at degressi in front of Tori and Tristan. Tori looks at me can tell she's mad at me bout what did I do. She opens her mouth and the words that flow out her mouth make my mouth drop. "You are a psycho Maya its sad cam is gunna have to deal with that". "IF U REALLY CARED ABOUT CAM YOU WOULD GET OUT HIS LIFE NOW".

Those words made tears stream down her mind, as I think bout what's going on maybe I am crazy.

I wake up in a hospital bed, right next to me is cam what is he doing here where am I. Could my dream be a sign as I try to remember how I got hear seems like so long ago. The flash of sirens, blood and panic did I try to commit suicide.

I decided best way to get answers was from cam but he looks so peaceful sleeping. Cam you awake, he jumps up started and looks at me as if he just saw a ghost. He opens his mouth but not words come out tears stream down his face "thought I almost lost you".


	5. flashback

He hands brush up against my face "Maya why did you try and leave me "he closes his eyes as tears stream down his face.

"Cam don't cry what's going on I'm so confused", he looks up at me and kisses me with no intention of stopping. He's lips were hard against mine he grabbed the back of my head and pushed me closer to him. I was afraid if I didn't stop this know it would get out of hand but I missed him so much my thoughts turned into mush. His hand slowly makes its way to my shirt.

My eyes opened "cam stop were in a hospital" his hand remands frozen on my shirt he looks up and takes a step back and sits in the chair next to me. He puts his hand over his eyes I could tell he hasn't gotten any sleep with the bags under his eyes and red and swollen from all the crying.

I try and left my arm but notice I'm strapped down to the gurney "wth "

He remands silent as tears slid down his face I couldn't take it anymore wish I did die. As my own thoughts shocked me. Me Maya thinking about suicide

My sister and my parents come in and look at me and then cam and back to me. As if they missed something witch they did. Katie was the first one to come near me "hey Maya how you feeling "

I didn't know how to respond just then my mother broke down in tears never heard her cry as hard as she did. Everyone jumped startled by my mothers crying. My father hugged my mom and looked at me trying to fight back tears " Maya we will be back I promise " he comes over and kisses me on my forehead

Now I really do feel crazy, as my parents left the room and shut the door behind them, I look up at Katie looks like she hasn't gotten any sleep either. Was everyone suffering from no sleep?

"Tori was expelled she wont be going back to degressi, Maya "I was shocked bout what Katie just said my mouth flew open. "what are you talking bout Katie". Cam looks up at Katie they exchange a look, cam nods his head as if knowing what Katie was saying.

Maya you and tori had gotten into a fight over cam. I just then got a flash back of that night

I see tori and cam both on green flirting and laughing. I couldn't take it; I went over to tori and punched her everything else was a blur. But I had another flash back not one I wanted to see.

It was me in the green house taking a knife and crying and cutting my wrist. I remember the pain and all the blood rushing out my arm. I layed on the ground hoping to die.

As the words tori said played over and over in my head, shut up I screamed at the thoughts in my head try and make them go away as everything turned dim but I wasn't going to die here I tried my best to get up and make my way to the park bench to be sure no one find me since no one comes here anymore and hoped to die

I would really appreciate some reviews telling me on how you think I've done so far in the story thank you my next chapter will be a little later


	6. nightmare

I looked at cam and Katie as broke down in tears. Before I knew it we were all crying and hugging My parents walk in confused as they see us all crying and decide to join the group hug.

3 weeks later

Its been three week, the hospital allowed me to come home today and im so glad to be back. I quickly ran to my room with cam as my parents watch us go smiling that I feel better. I told cam everything and at first he looked at me with confused and shock mixed with fear. But before I could finish he locked my door. Everyone was asleep by now

Cam what are you doing, cam climbs on top of me and kisses me like he did when we were in the hospital. He stops and looks at me.

Promise me I will never lose you, he whispered. I looked at him and blinked away tears, I promise as I kiss him passionately. And take off from were we started in the hospital.

Maya are you sure bout this. No I'm not sure I just wanna prove to you how much I care bout you cam as I unbutton my shirt but his hand stops me.

Maya I believe you; you don't have to have sex with me to prove how much you love me. Just promise me you won't try that again.

I promise I love you

As I button my shirt up again and lie in his arms and snuggle up to him. He kisses my forehead I love you Maya.

My dream is pitch black witch scares me, I turn around to see cam "Maya your crazy "not you to cam.

That's all I remember when I find myself laying on the bathroom floor surrounded by blood. I try to scream for help but all that comes out is a whisper. I watch the blood flow from my arms. How did I do this?

I find myself unable to move my arms. as I think to myself this is the end I close my eyes and hear cams voice play over and over in my head I love you Maya that's when it hits me I promise you cam I hear my voice play in my head .

I WILL NOT GIVE UP, I let out a sharp scream with everything I got I hear footsteps running into the bathroom. The first face I see is my angel face cam. I'm sorry I don't know how it happened.

He falls on his knees and looks at me as tears flow dramatically out his eyes. I see Katie and my parents at the door staring in bewilderment. Cam quickly pulls out his phone and calls 911.


	7. thank you

Ok so I'm really in the writing mood but I would really appreciate some review telling me how I've done so far. Even if you don't like it please review cause I'm working my but off writing but im not really sure if you guys like it but I would like to thx.

degressi gurl , .1 , writingismypassion123, zoubisoubisou , Rinny106

Thank u guys for your feed back I really appreciate it I will always give shout outs to people who review my way of saying thx you


	8. cams story

Cams story

I stare at Maya, how can a sweet girl like Maya try and commit suicide. I was drifting off to sleep on Mayas coach her parents let me stay over so I didn't have to go to my bullet family. I couldn't stop thinking bout when I saw her in the park bench.

(High pitch screams) I jumped at the sound, I run to the sound of Mayas scream. She wasn't in her room. I run to the bathroom only to stop in shock. For a min I couldn't feel my legs. I felt weak ,as I fell on my knees I look at her beautiful face ,eyes of an angel how could an angel do this.

"Maya why "tears stream down my face she looks at me hopelessly and whispers in such a low voice" I'm sorry cam I love you I don't know how this happen".

I here footsteps behind me I didn't turn to all ready know it's her parents and Katie thinking the same thing I am. I pull out my phone and hold Mayas hand. I dial 911 "hello this is 911 please state your emergence "

"Hi my girlfriend … she tried to commit suicide I need someone over here now" there was silence "ok what's your address", I pass the phone over to Katie. I continue to stare at Maya. I notice how deep her cuts are and how much blood is leaving her arm I quickly rip the sleeve of my shirt and wrap it around her arm. aint no doctor but sure aint gonna net her die .

She whispers" I feel so cold ". That scares me "Maya you have to stay with me okay were gonna get threw this together". "I love you and when we get threw this ima marry you Maya "

She looks at me I can the tears coming down her face she lets out a small whisper but I cant here I knew I only have a few mins the room starts to smell like blood . Maya closes her eyes and whispers my name.

I panicked "MAYA DON'T LEAVE ME, DON'T LEAVE ME "I put her lifeless hand up to my face. Tears are coming down my face to the point I can't even see Maya. I knew it was too late but I hear sirens close by. It feels like I'm dying inside like someone's tearing my heart out.

I hear the door open down stairs and Katie is in shock just staring at Maya. The paramedics come in and take a look at what there dealing with

"Son excuse, me how long has she been out". I try my best to focus on how long "5, 6 min sir"

"Ok were gunna have to ask you to leave the room" the thought of leaving Maya "NO"," I CANT LEAVE HER" I scream. Just then I feel several hands on me pushing me out the door I try my best to fight them but to many I take one more look at Maya as they put the oxygen mask on her and try to stop the bleeding .

They leave me at the door as I watch them try to bring Maya to life they quickly bring the gurney to the room and slightly move her on to the gurney still no heartbeat. Katie hugs me and I let her cry on my shoulders as they take Maya out the house we follow behind the ambulance to the hospital.

At this point I forgot what sleep feels like but I do know I'm not leaving Maya like this. I sit and I stand calling my bullet family letting them know what's going on.


	9. The bitter truth

Maya

I open my eyes and find myself in the hospital . I look around to see cam , but hes not here as I turn my head and shut my eyes .

"why am I so tired " i open my eyes when I hear the door open , hoping its cam . as I see cam walk inside with a docter and my parents .

"cam" I try to call his name but nothing comes out my mouth . everyones lookin at me now like if they just seen a ghost .

"Cam" I try once more but still nothing . the docter takes a step forward hi may aim dr . jocob I will be here to guide you the rest of the way to recovery ,, I have to ask you some questions if you don't mind.

I cant speak I try and say but still nothing comes out . oh yes that's right maya dew to your injury we have given you medicine you might experience loos of appitaite .

I try to point to my throut but my hands were tied to the gurney . I give a pleading look at cam .

He sighs and looks at me , he looked cold his eyes were dim and red . his hair was messy and he looked exgusted . I try to hold back tears but they silently fall down my face .

Cam walks up at me and holds my hand we both just stare into each others eyes ryin to find the person we fell in love with . my parents decided to leave me and cam alone . he waits till there gone to kiss me .i can tell by this kiss how much pain he was in. this was the last thing I wanted somethings wrong with me .

He looks at me in my eyes and breaks down in tears you promised me maya . your trying to hurt me ,do you like seeing me in pain I sure don't like seeing you in pain.

I stare at him in shock he goes toward the end off the room and slids to the floor and puts his head to his knees and crys . maya dammit I cant keep doing this tell me what to do I,ll make it better .

I cry silently and try my hardest to speak as a tiny whisper leaves my mouth " sorry " I feel my heart beat fast . I feel sick to my stomack . cam looks at me concerned "maya your really pale"

I blacked out im not sure what happened that night , but I find myself in a different room with cam and my parents and Katie there talkin and whispering what there going to do. I close my eyes and pretend to still be asleep.

Somethings not right here I hear my mom tell everyone . I can hear cam breathin can tell hes right next to me . think its time to wake up or is it . I open my eyes " SHES AWAKE " Katie yelled

Cam just stared at me with these puppy dog eyes . " go get the docter I can hear my mom shout in the back ground . my mind turn to mush when I saw cams face , he looked so broken and hurt .

The docters come running in , both me and cam turn our heads to there intention

Well arnt you up early didn't expect you to be awake for two more days . "what" I shout , my voice was back . "how long have I been here" . the docter looks at me not long about a week.

I don't remember when the last time ive been in school or seen my friends " mom what bout school its hard to make up all that work" . they look at me with a worried look in there eye .

The docter turned toward everyone but his eyes remained locked on mine " maya do you remember anything from the night you were brought hear ". I think to myself the last thing I remember was seeing cam face and him telling me he loved me .

Cam looks down at shoes as if hes ashamed at something . I turn back to the docter " whats going on "

Well maya it seems that you have a disorder he stops and continues "have you ever heard of bi polor as some people might state"

Yeah but what does that invole me

He looks at me " see there different types of bi polor disorders other wise known as manic episode ".

Weve found out do to some test you have a bi polor 1 its very common in teens your age . also very dangerous . you will have to be on meds this day forward to keep it contained .

I look at him shocked , I don't even know what to say . cam looks at me and kisses my forehead its ok may aim here always and forever .

Maya maltin do you remember what else I said that night if we got threw this . I look at him confused " no why "

He looks at me and then my parents , he smiles a light smile , it made me melt . "maya will you do me the honers of marrying me . the room was quiet , I felt my mouth drop "c….cam im only 15 " he chuckes yeah I know but ima take care of you maya I promise "


	10. srry guys

Im not sure when the next update will be. Things are complicated right now, but I will post the next update soon. I appreciate all the reviews you don't know how much it means to me. Writing is pretty much I got write now. Thank you all for helping me threw these tough times


End file.
